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In contemporary discussion of women\'s social roles, the phrase \"having it all\

ID: 108179 • Letter: I

Question

In contemporary discussion of women's social roles, the phrase "having it all" is often used to discuss whether women can fulfill traditional roles while at the same time pursue careers. Some believe it is impossible. Others maintain that women can have it all, but not all at the same time. Others say that is a perfectly valid choice to stay home and take care of the family and not work outside the home. Still others criticize the phrase and ask why it never is used with reference to men. Consider the previous statements as you write and then respond to two of the following:

Research instances where women who have reached high positions in the corporate world have decided to stay at home to raise a family, thus giving up monetary and other perks.

Research stay-at-home dads and why they made the choice they did.

(500 word paper)

Explanation / Answer

There are 10.1 million women-owned businesses in the United States, says the Center for Women's Business Research. No firm statistics exist on how many are run by stay-at-home moms, but it stands to reason that the percentage is increasing in the Wi-Fi age. Over 90 percent of the moms we've interviewed said the desire for family flexibility is the number-one reason they work from home says an author.”Another big change we've seen in the past 15 years is acceptance. In the past, moms have been reluctant to tell clients they work from home. Now it's commonplace, even respectable." Mom-owned businesses, which used to be heavy on arts and crafts, now run the professional gamut, says another author.

Plug "mom bloggers" into a search engine and you'll come up with thousands of SAHMs who chronicle their daily lives online. Moms share stories and tips about single parenting, adoption, home schooling and more. The most popular blogs turned their authors into celebrities who rack up book and movie deals. For example - Jen Singer, the New Jersey mom of two who created mommasaid.net, says her blog averages 90,000 views per month; it's not a huge moneymaker per se, but it has led to book deals, speaking engagements and endorsement offers none of which would have happened in the pre-Internet era. Seeing this we know that mom bloggers are hugely influential because they represent the authentic voices of other moms.

Making a living from a blog is tough, but there are other perks. Moms who pen really great blogs are heavily courted by brands to review their product. Some receive thousands of dollars in products each month. Working at home is still work, there's just not someone else telling you what to do and when to do it. The key to success is being self-motivated to haul yourself out of bed at dawn and get cracking before the baby wakes up or stay up past baby's bedtime, when you're likely tired too. It is believed women can do that by taking charge of their careers, to "lean in" rather than "pull back" when facing obstacles. Women rarely make one big decision to leave the workforce. Instead, they make a lot of small decisions along the way. Survey after survey suggests a deep-seated, buried misery over the eternal battle between work and family.

Half of working mothers with children under 15 would stay at home full-time in an ideal world, according to a 2001 survey for the then Department for Education. Eight years on, this month's she magazine reports nearly three-quarters of its readers want to cut their hours: the journalist Cristina Odone's recent think-tank pamphlet, What Women Want, claimed if money were no object only 12% of mothers would work full-time. Such guilt, such longing: yet there is something terribly puzzling about it, given that working motherhood should, in theory, now be easier than ever. The Equalities Review chaired by Trevor Phillips two years ago concluded that the most discriminated-against group in Britain today was working mothers: easy to see why the 30,000 women a year who lose their jobs after falling pregnant, or the one in 10 whose applications for flexible hours are rejected, might want to quit. And while young women have the energy to fight colleagues who undermine them, bosses who underpay them, or a culture which undervalues them, an already exhausted and conflicted working mother is more likely to decide life is just too short.

Add in the women whose wages would all be swallowed by the cost of childcare, or those who survive the toddler years only to be squeezed by caring for elderly parents too, and the siren call of home sounds even stronger. Whatever they want, the majority of women need to work and in a recession they may need it more than ever. A recent survey for the website communityjobs.co.uk found that eight in 10 mothers using it were considering returning to work or increasing their hours because they feared a male breadwinner losing their job. Work offers stimulation, self-respect, the gleeful freedom of spending your own money: it brings the camaraderie of an office, and in my case the deep pleasure of ordering words and playing with ideas. The dilemma is how far parents like me can really expect conventional corporate life to bend around us.

There are a lot of fathers out there who say they want to be a stay-at-home dad – but could they hack it if given the opportunity to care for the kids full-time? Most likely, but it isn’t a move to be taken lightly and there is some preparation to do. Staying at home isn’t getting to wake up when you want or having the freedom to do as you please during the day. The kids usually dictate the schedule. This is one of the biggest career moves a dad will ever have to make. He will be going from the rat race to domestic chaos. Adult interaction will be limited and dad will be on call 24 hours a day. Instead of pounding away at the computer for eight or more hours, you'll be tossed into the world of play dates, dinner menus, and housework. Although the move can be very gratifying, if working and producing something every day is what fulfills you, think hard about what will make you most content. The kids aren’t going to get a lot out of an unhappy parent.

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