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English is my secondary language and every time that I write it gives me headach

ID: 3099001 • Letter: E

Question

English is my secondary language and every time that I write it gives me headache.Here is the first two paragraph of an essay,someone gives me some advice.Thank you! There are numerous habits that can be defined as dangerous,such as extreme sports,driving after drinking and unhealthy diet.In my opinion,smoking is the most dangerous habit that one could ever have since it causes illness,wastes money and is impossible to stop. Smoking is dangerous due to it deliberately leads us to illnesses.For instance,it is not uncommon to find in the newspaper that smoking is responsible for the majority of cancer cases.And more than half of the death every year is caused by cancer.Also,smokers are not the only group that take the consequences.Second-hand smoke has been claimed even more vicious than the direct one.The general public,especially the young and the old,are confronted with the illness that they should never concern about.Of course,one may argue that "I don't care my state of health at all.I just need smoking to satisfy the desire of peace and release."Admittedly,it is non of our business to interfere the one who choose to die.But threatening others' lives is obviously unacceptable. English is my secondary language and every time that I write it gives me headache.Here is the first two paragraph of an essay,someone gives me some advice.Thank you! There are numerous habits that can be defined as dangerous,such as extreme sports,driving after drinking and unhealthy diet.In my opinion,smoking is the most dangerous habit that one could ever have since it causes illness,wastes money and is impossible to stop. Smoking is dangerous due to it deliberately leads us to illnesses.For instance,it is not uncommon to find in the newspaper that smoking is responsible for the majority of cancer cases.And more than half of the death every year is caused by cancer.Also,smokers are not the only group that take the consequences.Second-hand smoke has been claimed even more vicious than the direct one.The general public,especially the young and the old,are confronted with the illness that they should never concern about.Of course,one may argue that "I don't care my state of health at all.I just need smoking to satisfy the desire of peace and release."Admittedly,it is non of our business to interfere the one who choose to die.But threatening others' lives is obviously unacceptable.

Explanation / Answer

This was posted in the pre-calculus section, it should be posted in the writing section. Your first two paragraphs edited: There are numerous habits that can be defined as dangerous, such as extreme sports, drinking and driving, and the consumption of unhealthy foods. In my opinion, smoking is the most dangerous habit that one could ever have as it causes illness, is a drain on one’s income, and is almost impossible to stop. One of the primary reasons that smoking is dangerous is that it leads to illnesses. For instance, there are many newspaper articles that state smoking as the major cause of cancer in modern society. These articles go on to state that more than half of the deaths every year are caused by cancer. Also, smokers are not the only group that take the consequences. Second-hand smoke has been claimed to be even more deadly than smoking first hand inhalation. The general public, especially the young and the old, are confronted with a risk of illness that they should never have to concern themselves with. Of course, one may argue that "I don't care about my state of health at all. I need to smoke to relax and unwind." Admittedly, it is none of our business that smokers wish to die and early death, but threatening others' lives is obviously unacceptable.