Please help check my grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, topic sentences.

Question

Please help check my grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, topic sentences. Thank you very very much!

Restorative

I love to solve problems, I enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms and overcoming the problem. I love to discover how things work, and also finding an easier way to do things. Since I was little, whenever my parents bought me toys, I always try to open it to see what inside, what it’s made off, and try to put everything back together. I got very frustrated when I can’t restore it back to its original state.

At my work place, whenever we face with any difficult problems, I always try to discuss with one or two other people and find a way to solve it. I don’t like it when people ignore problems, or pretend the problem don’t exist and just walk pass it. Because of that, people will usually come to me when they need help to solve a problem. Because first of all, they know I can hardly say no, and also, they know I will eventually find of a way to solve thing. Sometimes, I got tired of thinking of a solution, but I don’t always give up. I took a short break, clear my mind and always go back to it.

The downside of this strength is sometimes, I won’t be able to let go a certain situation. I always have to solve the problem in order to move on, but in reality, not everything, every problem can be fixed. It is a little hard for me to except the fact, but it’s true. Another shadow is sometimes I’m too fast to give a solution, I won’t allow other people to solve their own problems, and they start depending on me.

Ideation

I can come up with new ideas, and I just love to discover new ideas and innovations that I like to think of. I can always come up with hundreds of new ideas in my head. I can easily relate one problems to another.

At my work place, my boss always asks me for new ideas, she believe I can bring a fresh perspective to the group. I can think of a creative way to do things. When life get tough, I try to think of a fun and creative way to do things. I tried to come up with ideas that will help me to prioritize my time, and make my work experience more enjoyable.

Like I said above, I can think of hundreds of ideas, but if I don’t write it down, I will forget them right away, and won’t be able to act. So sometimes I only think but I don’t actually act. People often have a hard time understanding my own ideas, because I can’t express what I want at the full level. I have hard time explaining my ideas to people, so it’s hard for people to follow. Most of the time, I found myself do things by myself and expect other people to understand my work. But it not always works that way.

Relator

            I care more about quality than quantity, I only have a few friends, and we’re really close, we understand each other's goals, dreams, we motivate each other to reach our goal. Once I’m close to someone, I will do whatever it takes to help them. Sometimes I feel like people take advantage of me, but I ignore it and continuously treat them with all respect, help them whenever they need. Sometimes, when they cross the line, I try to express my feeling, and be honest to them, and hopefully they will understand. I’m all about authenticity.

            I am an introvert, so I love to spend time by myself, where I don’t have to talk to people much. But when I’m happy or sad, or when I have to face a difficult decision, I try to find a close friend to share and talk to them. It makes me feel better as someone just sit there and listen to what I say.

            The downside of relator strength is sometimes I feel uncomfortable talking to strangers, I tend to stick to same friends group all the time, and because of that I don’t have a good network.

Significant life Event

            The toughest time in my life was when my parents and I moved to United State. The only reason that made me move away from my country, all my beloved relatives, and friends was “education”. That is what my parents wanted me to do. They ask me to do nothing for them but get a better education and have a brighter future. They told me English is a very important language and you basically can go anywhere around the world if you know English. They put me in a ESL school back in Vietnam, but I didn’t get anything out of it. I learned how to say, “my English was terrible!” My hope to speak English also faded away. Until my parents told me that we were moving to the United States. Back then, leaving to America felt like the end of the world for me. I didn’t speak any English, I’m not good at learning another language either, so how was I’m going to survive in that strange place without knowing their language.

When we moved here, my parents quit their best jobs in Vietnam and ended up living in the U.S with no jobs for almost half of the year. They used all of their saving money for foods, my school supplies, and the apartment rent. Of course, my education didn’t go very well either. I still remember the only sentence I knew how to say back then was “Sorry, I don’t speak English.” I looked at my situation and also my parent’s. I needed to make my parents proud of me and prove to them that their decision of moving wasn’t wrong. I started to study very hard every day when I got home from school. I walked right to my desk and study. I practiced how to speak English in front of the mirror, by repeating a sentence over and over until I feel like my pronunciation is right. I got straight A’s for my very first trimester in High School. My parents were so happy because the school’s principal invited them to join the school breakfast because I was a student of the month. The smile on their faces is the motive to keep me going forward. The days I got accepted to all four colleges made my mom cry. She cried because she knows her daughter has been trying very hard to get to that point. She cried because her daughter listens to her very well that nothing gives you a better future but education. Now, I am here in MBA program. I didn’t want to do it until later, but my parents told me that the longer I wait the harder to go back, so I decided to give it a shot, work harder every day. I keep telling myself “short term pain, long term gain”. Now when I look back, I was so proud of myself that I didn’t give up!

            Through all of the struggles, I realize my parents are the one who always by my side, they support me on whatever road I take, they give advice, they help me to become a better person, they teach me how I should treat other people. I have the strictest father in the entire world. Sometimes I don’t like it when he doesn’t allow me to do certain thing or do things the way he wanted. But as I grow up, I realize all of his words are so true. I used to go against him so many time, but I’m the one who always wrong most of the time.

            The 5 core values that help articulate my moral compass is honesty, love, trust, diversity and authenticity. I believe every one of us was born with a kind hearted. It just we were born in different situations and different background, sometimes the society will shape us to become tough to face with harsh situations. Your pass will also affect who you are as a person. To me, I always use kindness to treat people, I believe other people can feel it. When I have to decide what’s right and wrong, I usually use my head to think and listen to my heart. My own moral compass is constructed mainly by my parents and those social experiences that I’ve been through.

Explanation / Answer

Note: This response is in UK English, please paste the response to MS Word and you should be able to spot discrepancies easily. For instance, I will spell colour with a “u” and other such nuances. Be sure to spot these changes on MS Word in case you speak American. Also, I have explained where you have gone wrong and not just corrected the mistake. Tha way, you can learn and improve.

(A few tips for the future. Keep your sentences short if you are new to the English language. For example, instead of “Sometimes, when they cross the line, I try to express my feelings, and be honest with them, and hopefully, they will understand. I’m all about authenticity.”

You could have written, “Sometimes, they tend to cross the line. This fills me with emotions and I try to express them as honestly as possible. This is because I believe in being authentic.” What I have done is turned one long sentence into three short sentences. This makes room for fewer errors.

I have corrected your essay below. For the future, you may use Chegg and also the “Grammarly” app for MS Word.)

Restorative

I love to solve problems, I enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms and overcoming the problem. I love to discover how things work and also find an easier way to do things. Since I was little, whenever my parents bought me toys, I always try to open it to see what inside, what it’s made off, and try to put everything back together. I got very frustrated when I can’t restore it back to its original state.

(I love to solve problems. I enjoy the challenging symptoms and overcoming problems. Whenever I discover how things work, there seems to be an easier way to do them. My parents used to buy me toys when I was little. These new toys would make me curious enough to open them up and see what was inside. Putting the toy parts back together was fun too. Although, it got frustrating when I couldn't restore the toy.) (4 sentences vs 6 sentences) (short sentences = lesser room for errors)

At my workplace, whenever we face any difficult problems, I always try to discuss with one or two other people and find a way to solve it. I don’t like it when people ignore problems or pretend the problem doesn’t exist and just walk past it. Because of that, people will usually come to me when they need help to solve a problem. Because first of all, they know I can hardly say no, and also, they know I will eventually find a way to solve a thing. Sometimes, I got tired of thinking of a solution, but I don’t always give up. I took a short break, clear my mind and always go back to it.

The downside of this strength is sometimes, I won’t be able to let go a certain situation. I always have to solve the problem in order to move on, but in reality, not everything, every problem can be fixed. It is a little hard for me to accept the fact, but it’s true. Another shadow is sometimes I’m too fast to give a solution, I won’t allow other people to solve their own problems, and they start depending on me.

Ideation

I can come up with new ideas, and I just love to discover new ideas and innovations that I like to think of. I can always come up with hundreds of new ideas in my head. I can easily relate one problem to another.

At my workplace, my boss always asks me for new ideas, she believes I can bring a fresh perspective to the group. I can think of a creative way to do things. When life gets tough, I try to think of a fun and creative way to do things. I tried to come up with ideas that will help me to prioritize my time, and make my work experience more enjoyable.

Like I said above, I can think of hundreds of ideas, but if I don’t write it down, I will forget them right away, and won’t be able to act. So sometimes I only think but I don’t actually act. People often have a hard time understanding my own ideas, because I can’t express what I want at the full level. I have a hard time explaining my ideas to people, so it’s hard for people to follow. Most of the time, I found myself do things by myself and expect other people to understand my work. But it not always works that way.

Relator

            I care more about quality than quantity, I only have a few friends, and we’re really close, we understand each other's goals, dreams, we motivate each other to reach our goal. Once I’m close to someone, I will do whatever it takes to help them. Sometimes I feel like people take advantage of me, but I ignore it and continuously treat them with all respect, help them whenever they need. Sometimes, when they cross the line, I try to express my feelings and be honest with them, and hopefully, they will understand. I’m all about authenticity.

            I am an introvert, so I love to spend time by myself, where I don’t have to talk to people much. But when I’m happy or sad, or when I have to face a difficult decision, I try to find a close friend to share and talk to them. It makes me feel better as someone just sits there and listens to what I say.

            The downside of relator strength is sometimes I feel uncomfortable talking to strangers, I tend to stick to same friends group all the time, and because of that, I am unable to network professionally.

Significant life Event

            The toughest time in my life was when my parents and I moved to United State. The only reason that made me move away from my country, all my beloved relatives, and friends was “education”. That is what my parents wanted me to do. They ask me to do nothing for them but get a better education and have a brighter future. They told me English is a very important language and you basically can go anywhere in the world if you know English. They put me in an ESL school back in Vietnam, but I didn’t get anything out of it. I learned how to say, “my English was terrible!” My hope to speak English also faded away. Until my parents told me that we were moving to the United States. Back then, leaving to America felt like the end of the world for me. I didn’t speak any English, I’m not good at learning another language either, so how was I’m going to survive in that strange place without knowing their language.

When we moved here, my parents quit their best jobs in Vietnam and ended up living in the U.S with no jobs for almost half of the year. They used all of their saving money for foods, my school supplies, and the apartment rent. Of course, my education didn’t go very well either. I still remember the only sentence I knew how to say back then was “Sorry, I don’t speak English.” I looked at my situation and also my parent’s. I needed to make my parents proud of me and prove to them that their decision of moving wasn’t wrong. I started to study very hard every day when I got home from school. I walked right to my desk and study. I (I have practiced. Not I practiced) practiced how to speak English in front of the mirror, by repeating a sentence over and over until I feel like my pronunciation is right. I got straight A’s for my very first trimester in High School. My parents were so happy because the school’s principal invited them to join the school breakfast because I was a student of the month. The smile on their faces is the motive to keep me going forward. The days I got accepted to all four colleges made my mom cry. She cried because she knows her daughter has been trying very hard to get to that point. She cried because her daughter listens to her very well that nothing gives you a better future but education. Now, I am here in MBA program. I didn’t want to do it until later, but my parents told me that the longer I wait the harder to go back, so I decided to give it a shot, work harder every day. I keep telling myself “short-term pain, long-term gain”. Now when I look back, I was so proud of myself that I didn’t give up!

            Through all of the struggles, I realize my parents have always been by my side. They’ve supported me on whatever road I take, they give advice, they help me to become a better person, they teach me how I should treat other people. I have the strictest father in the entire world. Sometimes I don’t like it when he doesn’t allow me to do a certain thing or do things the way he wants. But as I grow up, I realize all of his words are so true. I used to go against him so many times, but I’m the one who is mostly wrong.

            The 5 core values that help articulate my moral compass is honesty, love, trust, diversity and authenticity. I believe we were all born kind-hearted. It is just that, we were born in different situations with different backgrounds and sometimes the society will shape us to become tough to face these harsh situations. Your past will also affect who you are as a person. I always believe in treating others with kindness as it never goes unnoticed. Whenever I have to decide what’s right and wrong, I usually use my head to think and listen to my heart. My own moral compass is guided mainly by my parents and those social experiences that I’ve been through.

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