Read the following case and give your response to the questions after the case.
ID: 3453582 • Letter: R
Question
Read the following case and give your response to the questions after the case. The client is a married woman in her late 30s, with 3 children who are approaching their teens. She has been in weekly therapy for 6 months. She is struggling to decide whether to remain with her husband, whom she feels is boring, uninvolved with their children, complacent, and overly wrapped up in his work. She has urged him to join her in marriage counseling or try some form of therapy for himself. He maintains that he is "fine" and that she is the one with the problems. She tells you (the counselor) that she would divorce him immediately if it wasn’t for the kids and that when the children finish school, she will surely leave him. Right now she is ambivalent, however, she cannot decide whether she wants to accept the security that she now has (along with the deadness of her relationship with her husband) or whether she is willing to give up this security and risk being stuck with less than she now has. She has been contemplating having an affair so that someone other than her husband can meet her physical and emotional needs. She is also exploring the possibility of finding a job so that she will be less dependent upon her husband. By getting a job, she could have outside opportunities for personal satisfaction and still remain in her marriage by deciding to accept what she has with him. Consider the following question and decide what value judgements can be made, both by the client and you as counselor.
2). She is talking about and an affair. What do your values about monogamy or extramarital sex have to do with her decisions? Do you believe that having an affair would be helpful or destructive for your client? What influence might your views have on her?
Explanation / Answer
2). She is talking about and an affair. What do your values about monogamy or extramarital s-ex have to do with her decisions? Do you believe that having an affair would be helpful or destructive for your client? What influence might your views have on her?
According to me and my views, I do not support extra marital affairs. For me, if someone has got in a marital relationship, it means that they are ready to accept the partner for their life and as a result have got into that relationship. The fact is, the client was once a newly wed, followed by a young mother and then a home maker, who had been involved in taking care of her children and bringing them up and all this while.
Now, her children are approaching teenage and do not require as much attention as they used to earlier. Also, she has more free amount of time and is not able to do anything productive, in turn, she feels her husband is boring. Her husband is not able to give as much time to her as he could earlier, in keeping up with the responsibilities and good quality of life.
In such a situation, it is important to make her realise that if she is looking for an outside job, it would be helpful for her and keep her occupied while feeling less dull and less monotonous. Though, it is important to make her realise that an external affair is not the option. If she has a problem with her husband or if he is not able to give time, it could be solved by discussions.
If she is low on se-xual satisfaction, it could be discussed with the partner. Her husband might not even know that she is having these problems and many times, talking out things can make them better.
Extra marital affair will not make things better but is a destructive path as it would start bringing out problems within people. If she would involve in such an act, there would be comparisons between both the people along with her becoming annoyed with her husband, resulting in an increase in dissatisfaction and ultimately divorce. It is very rare when people can maintain both fronts equally well without a fringe. Also, it creates a negative impact on the children, giving them wrong impressions of the way of leading their life.
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