Watch the 2 short video clips then answer the following questions: https://youtu
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Question
Watch the 2 short video clips then answer the following questions:
https://youtu.be/mp8chvACVBk
https://youtu.be/iEV_pQIf3Og
1. Why do they NOT continue their relationship at this point in the movie?What strikes you about the level of self-awareness of Harry and Sally? Do you think this movie promotes the SPT idea that self-disclosure is what people must do to grow closer in their relationships?
2. " do men share the same strategies for getting to know other men as friends in the same way women make friends with other women? Why or why not? When does a man know that he has a true friend with another man?
3. What do you think about the fourth assumption of SPT: Self-disclosure is at the core of relationship development? What other ways could people get closer to each other, if not through self-disclosure?
Explanation / Answer
The two videos do not exist.
1.They don’t continue their relationship at this point in the movie because they have different outlooks on life. It’s clear that both Sally and Harry recognize their self-awareness. Sally, claims to be a happy person who has big dreams and plans for herself in NY. She’s an optimist and looks are the bright side of things. Harry, on the other hand, claims to have a very dark side and admits to thinking about death frequently. He even tells Sally that he reads the last page of his book first in the case that he dies before he finishes it. Unlike Sally, Harry is a pessimist. The exchange of informa±on, feelings, and activity thus far in the relationship does not make it appear worth investing in.
Personally, I believe that the question regarding friendships between men and women is not a simple yes or no question. It is possible, but is not an easy task and is not possible for everyone. It is in our DNA to desire love, affection, and sex. Although this is true, I think that men and women can overcome these desires and have a close or intimate relationship without sex in some instances. It all depends on the effort put in by both people and their evaluation of costs and rewards during the social exchange process. As mentioned, “every decision is a balance between cost and rewards” (Littlejohn, 203).
Like Harry said in the second scene, when both people are in a relationship it may be harder because of their significant others. Their questioning and jealously could interfere with the development of a friendship. This is one instance where I believe it would be more difficult. One other instance would be when one, or both, of the people, are attracted to the other and want to have a sexual exchange. Both participants would need to discuss this and open up in order to address this issue and continue the relationship. If they both evaluate the costs and rewards and fight their urges to have sex, then it is very possible. I have many guy friends and it has worked out before, but as you can tell from my response my answer is not clear-cut.
In the last scene, Harry professes his love for Sally. This demonstrates that they have moved through the processes in the Social Penetration Theory and formed an intimate relationship. The following paragraph will explain these steps.
The theory has a four-step process. It includes, (1) orientation (the two participants exchange public information during an impersonal communication), (2) exploratory affective exchange (the two participants become more comfortable and move onto a “deeper level of disclosure”), (3) effective exchange (evaluation of costs and rewards is needed and the two participants focus on “evaluative and critical feelings at a deeper level”), and (4) stable exchange (the relationship reaches a very intimate) (Littlejohn, 203).
Since I haven’t seen the movie in full, I assume that Harry and Sally moved through these stages at their own pace and ended up at the stable exchange stage in the end. As mentioned in the Altman & Taylor article, they both peeled back the layers of the other person’s personal onion. The theorist compares people to onions by explaining that the information that people give out comes out in layers and sections. They worked through the layers and the steps in the theory to reach this intimate state.
Also, I would like to point out again that this is not the end result of every male and female relationship.
I do believe that this theory is a good basis for relationship building, but it does not cover everything. Today, more and more people search on the Internet for relationships and friendships. People are giving out more information about themselves than ever before because they feel better protected behind a computer screen. Also, relationships between men and women have changed throughout the years. Our generation is more open to relationships without exclusivity and seems to almost fear commitment. A lot more relationships may never reach the stable exchange stage.
I also agree with the article in regards to the fact that “relationships develop in a variety of ways, often moving back and forth from privacy to sharing” (Littlejohn, 203). The theory is not a simple four-step communication process. It is much more complex than that and varies among people.
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