I need help Rewritting my thesis stament according to the feedback .. Assigment:

Question

I need help Rewritting my thesis stament according to the feedback ..

Assigment:

Write a thesis statement that responds to the following prompt: Analyze Rousseau's quotes, "Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains". Is this statement relevant today? Why or why not?

Answer:

He has several people associated with him , the older and younger . Almost every action of his affects people related to him . He cannot do anything and everything according to his own will without concerning others. Man is born free , and everywhere he is in chains , is absolutely correct in the current era.

Feedback:

Who does "he" refer to? Please revise your thesis and avoid the use of pronouns. Use more specific nouns instead to improve clarity and flow.

Explanation / Answer

Man, here in this quote refers to any individual or human being on this earth. When the child takes birth, the child is not bound by the social rules to adhere to. The infant cries when the need arises or when feels hungry. As one grows from infancy to adulthood, the individual learns to change his behavior according to what is right and what is wrong. The expression of feelings, thoughts and behavior of the man changes according to the need of the hour. Emotions are suppressed and the person is retrained for not expressing the emotions loudly. The individual is restrained by the societal rules, norms and obligations to act accordingly. The freedom to express thoughts and feelings in interpersonal arena is subjected to the filter of the right time, place and situation before being expressed. Therefore, there are chains everywhere which restrain the freedom of man. Despite being born free the man is chained everywhere.

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