Communication and Soft Skills - Assignment 3 In this course\'s required reading

Question

Communication and Soft Skills - Assignment 3

In this course's required reading -- Deborah Tannen's That's Not What I Meant (2011) -- Dr. Tannen points out that how people communicate is as important as the information content of their messages. Too often, conflict that arises between people is tied to misunderstandings rooted in the way they convey their messages. a. In the book's Preface, Tannen states: "...all communication is more or less cross-cultural." What does she mean by this statement? Why is it important to approach communication among people as an exercise in understanding possible cross-cultural differences among them? Illustrate your points with examples. (One to two pages, single-spaced) b. Tannen argues that when looking at communication between people, it is important to distinguish between information content and metamessages. Define what each of these constructs means. How do they work together to convey what people communicate to each other? If they are misaligned, how can they contribute to misunderstandings between people? Provide two examples of how a person who focuses solely on conveying information content to others, and does not understand the workings of metamessages, can miscommunicate his/her intended message. (One to two pages long, single-spaced) c. Tannen points out that a common communication strategy is to convey intended messages indirectly. What points does she make about this? Why do people convey messages indirectly? What are its advantages? What are its disadvantages? Illustrate your points with examples. (One to two pages long, single-spaced)

Explanation / Answer

Tannen states: "...all communication is more or less cross-cultural?

She means no two people have exactly the same communicative background. In situations that are more decidedly cross-cultural: among speakers of different .languages from different countries -- the exuberance and .deficiencies are proportionately greater.

It important to approach communication among people as an exercise in understanding possible cross-cultural differences among them?

The issue of cross-cultural communication is'at the very heart of being human. If you find, over time, that your ways of saying things are misunderstood, that your intentions are misperceived, you start to think you are crazy. You question your very sense of being in the world. This, I think, is what happens in that phenomenon we've all experienced, culture shock. Sadly, it's a reeling many ESL students have much of the time.

Cross-cultural communication exhibits the benefits and problems of all communication in extreme form.

It's deficient because what we say never communicates exactly what we have in mind in all its ramifications and associations. It's exuberant' because our listeners see ramifications and associations which we don't 'intend to communicate, as well as impressions of us.

Example: 1   Siti Suprapto studied'the talk between an Indonesian gynaecologist and his American patients. One cross-cultural misunderstanding that repeatedly occurred was that the doctor used laughter in a way that is conventional in Indonesia -- to smooth over embarrassing situations. He giggled when he mentioned potentially embarrassing topics to is patients.' The women had no idea that he was using an Indonesian convention. But they liked his laughing, which they interpreted as a 'personality characteristic., They 'thought he was easygoing, friendly, and nice. He made them comfortable. In a clinic setting, many women who returned for sub frequent visits specifically requested the doctor who laughs a lot.

Example 2: is from a study by Carolyn Adger of a multi-ethnic classroom. The children in the first-grade class, who came from a wide variety of backgrounds, did learn totalling. .In particular, Adger studied arguments- between two boys, one American black arid one Vietnamese, who became best friends and sought out each other's company.

These two boys had very different ideas about how to win an argument. The black child felt that he had to get the last word. The Vietnamese child who came from a culture that values displays of harmony, was happy if he could say something conciliatory and see himself as a peacemaker. He sought oneupmanship over the long haul, by getting a jibe in later. Because of their cross-cultural differences, it was possible for both boys to feel they had come out well in the same argument. "

b. Tannen argues that when looking at communication between people, it is important to distinguish between information content and meta-messages. Define what each of these constructs means. How do they work together to convey what people communicate to each other? If they are misaligned, how can they contribute to misunderstandings between people?

Information content refers to the amount of information conveyed by a particular unit of language in a particular context.

Examples:

The linguistic utterances of very young children are limited in both length and information content (Piaget, 1955).

Children whose 'sentences' are limited to one to two words may request food, toys or other objects, attention and help. They may also spontaneously note or name objects in their environment and ask or answer questions of who, what or where (Brown, 1980). The information content of these communications, however, is 'sparse' and limited to actions experienced by both listener and speaker and to objects known to both. Usually, only one object or action is requested at a time.

Meta messages: An inner message that could be inferred or implied from a message

Examples:

c. Tannen points out that a common communication strategy is to convey intended messages indirectly. What points does she make about this? Why do people convey messages indirectly? What are its advantages? What are its disadvantages?

Tannen points out that a common communication strategy is to convey intended messages indirectly. We called this indirect communication. It will help us handle communication to save countenance; When you are trying to criticize someone especially people with more power, the communication needs to be silent, careful and indirect. A lot of times we would like to answer questions by using “ yes,” “no,” words.It is better to use “ maybe,” “possibly,” to replace the direct answer. That’s why Tannen points out that a common communication strategy is to convey intended messages indirectly.Here are the reasons why people like use to convey intended messages indirectly.

First reason, people are using the indirect message to save a relationship and create harmony. For example, a friend wants to invite you to his party. However, you have a test tomorrow.If you direct refuse your friend, it would hurt their heart and break a relationship. In this case, it is better to express that you are very busy at the moment. You may come after you finish your personal business. Therefore, you have used an indirect communication to save a relationship with your friend and create harmony.

The second reason, people are using an indirect message to avoid dull comments. For example, instead of telling someone he is a stupid person, it is better to use indirect message, such as you are really good at this with a different vocal. A lot of times pay attention to nonverbal performance is very important. Particularly in an inconsistency between nonverbal performance and the words used by an indirect orator can indicate that words aren’t precise.

Therefore, a lot of people like to use intended messages to express the meaning.From both examples of intended messages, we could know there are disadvantage and advantage about indirect communication. The advantage is easy to manage the situation and better relationship management. However, the disadvantage is message cannot be easy to deliver to other people and not useful at all levels. For example, Sometimes, many senior managers express their anger are the unwillingness to their subordinate through indirect communication due to the power distance.

In summary, it is very hard to decide whether we should use direct or indirect communication. We need to understand the advantage and disadvantage of both communications in different situations.However, as indirect communication has become more popular in our daily lives and workplace, we need to pay more attention to people who use intended messages.

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