My Life as a Caregiver When my father fell ill, I put my own life and health on

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My Life as a Caregiver When my father fell ill, I put my own life and health on hold to save his. It wasn't easy by Nancy L. Snyderman M.D., AARP The Magazine, October/November 2013 Six vears ago my siblings and I decided it was time for our parents to live closer to family. So at he ages of 80 and 84, my parents moved from Fort Wayne, Indiana, where I grew up, to Princeton, New Jersey, where I live now. I was relieved to know Mom and Dad were getting out of the house, eating good food and taking the right medications. made friends, and I swear they got younger in front of my very eyes. They adopted a rescue dog. But the fairy tale that I had written for my parents could not last forever. A year after movin my father was s struck with a life-threatening case of shingles, and the new life they had invented witl came to a screeching halt. In my family we have always had frank discussions about the quality and end o f life and the right decisions. So when I realized that my father was gravely ill, I sat at his bedside and told him I didn't think he would live through the night without emergency care, but that the decision was his to make. He said with clarity, "I'm not ready to die." In that moment, I went from daughter to caregiver-one of almost 44 million U.S. adults caring for an older friend or family member. In the weeks that followed, I had a front-row seat to the chaos many families experience as they seek to coordinate care for a loved one. It would be easy to assume that, as a doctor, I could navigate the health care system with ease. But I was as overwhelmed as the next person. My medical expertise just fueled my exasperation. During the two weeks of my father's hospitalization, I bullied nurses and aides when my father was in pain, fought the hospitalist when she told me she needed to send him home because the hospital count was too high, and slept on a cot next to his bed so he wouldn't fall in the middle of the night. When it was time for my father to leave the hospital, I spent hours interviewing aides, renting wheelchairs and commodes, and trying to figure out how to restore the 30 pounds my father had lost. Caregivers tend to patients an average of 20 hours each week, but many would agree that it often feels like more. Like me, about half are also balancing that responsibility with a full-time job During the tough times I, like so many others, forgot to check in with myself. Within monthsI had put on 15 pounds, was sleeping five hours a night and was just emotionally raw. I didan't know then what I know now comes on like a full-frontal assault. that caregiver burnout is real and that the stress of caregiving It was time to give myself permission to step back into my own life. I called on my siblings to come to town and rotate care with me. I stopped overeating and started exercising again. once my father had recovered, I started a company, CarePlan tools and one-on-one consultations across the country And ners, that offers caregivers Web Perhaps the most important lesson I learned in all of this is how little we plan for the inevitable crises-and how much we all need help is a head and neck surgeon and a medical expert for AARP and NBC News. http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-09-2013/my-life-as-a- caregiver.print.html dermar anc

Explanation / Answer

It is a good article "My Life is a Caregiver" and a well taught life lesson. I feel that in everyone's life this kind of phase comes and when it comes in reality then we come to know the real importance of life.

Let us discuss one by one each questions and find out the relevant answers:

Answer No. 1: Yes I do have elderly in my family i.e. my Grandmother. My Grandfather has already been passed away many years back. One of the thing in human life that if we are healthy and self dependent that the perception or care towards us from the family member is different. As I talk about the case of my Grandfather, he was absolutely fit and fine till his last breath. He has died of heart attack one fine night. No body needed to give his especial care because he has died of his natural death and in that case he was self dependent.

If I talk about my Grandmother, one year back she suffered with paralysis attack and in that case she needed special care and every ones support in the family. Since my family is a joint family so it was easy to care her unlike the case cited in the mentioned article. If there is a many family members to care than it is easy to care elderly and one of the family member shall be always available at home when elderly need any help.

Answer 2:

Yes I do care of my elderly whenever the need arise but in my case we have a joint family and I have my other sibling and their or my wife is also available always to care for elderly. In such case I do not need to leave my job because it is not required. If someday my help is required then that day I can take a leave from my office and take care of elderly. Other alternatives are also available like our neighbors who are always ready to help and even we can take help of our domestic help if the need arise.

Answer 3:

Yes, I do feel that it is our duty to take care of our elderly because it is a natural requirement. When we were little our parents gave us all the care and support that time as their obligation and if the need arise than it is our turn to pay back to them with the same respect and care which they already deserve.

However it is not wrong to take outside help if we are busy with our job or some kind of work which can not be avoided. If we live in some other city and our parental home is far away then it is also not wrong to keep the elderly in the facility designed or designated to help in such purpose. They are professional and can help in all medical emergency need if any arises. Although we should always be there to provide our emotional support to our elder family members in such cases because this kind of support can not be bought from other than our own family member.

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