Editing Assignment: Email about copy center closing Text of email about closing

Question

Editing Assignment: Email about copy center closing

Text of email about closing the copy center

From: Lin, Frank

Sent: Wednesday, August 27, 2008 9:30 AM

Subject: Copy Center Closing

To All company employees:

Within the next month, the Copy Center located in our basement will be closing. All production work, both B/W and color, will be outsourced locally to The Phillips Group with a guarantee that jobs will be completed in 24 hours (the exception being jobs that require binders, preprinted tabs, etc. or other custom work that, as now, need to be quoted). Originals will be accepted as either an electronic data file or can be in an offline format such as a CD or paper. Orders will be placed online with an easy to use job request form and we will have daily pick-up and delivery service to our office. At present, we are working out all the details of this new process and have not determined an exact date for the transfer services. However, as a user of the Copy Center, I wanted to direct this notice to you first so that you would be aware of the coming changes.

As with any change, we anticipate that there might be questions concerning specific jobs or unique situations that you would like us to address. Please feel free to contact me at extension 6804 with your concerns. We will be making a general announcement in the near future with a specific date when the changeover will take place. This is a complicated transition process, considering that our Copy Center employees 23 people and includes many functions and tasks. We will have more detailed information on the ordering process available closer to the closing date, and we will share the new process and procedures at that time.

Thank you.

1. Critique this email. Well written? Poorly written? Why?

2. Discuss the audience for this email. What types of things do they need to know? What might they be interested in? What might not interest them?

3. What do you suppose is the writer’s objective?

4. Does the writer fulfill his objective?

5. Is the document written appropriately for the audience? Why?

6. Can you think of anything very important that might be missing from this document?

Explanation / Answer

1.   Critique this email. Well written? Poorly written? Why?

The email is not well structured. It should have been structured in the following sequence - summary of the change and alternative solution; who will be affected and how; what the company is planning to do to minimize the adverse effect of the change, if any; relevant details of the new process, if available; phone number and email to address any queries or suggestions.

2.   Discuss the audience for this email. What types of things do they need to know? What might they be interested in? What might not interest them?

Audience of the email is the people mostly the administrative staff who need copy/print service on a regular basis. The second group of audience is those 23 employees who work in the copy center, and whose employment prospects are at risk, by the closing the copy center.

The first group of audience only needs to know about the change in the process, particularly from the input and output perspective. These employees do not need to know the micro details, such as that the copy center employs 23 people. This might not interest them. What might interest them is how will the input and output of the service will be affected by this change, such as will the process of providing inputs(requisition) for copy job, become more complicated, and will the lead time of completion of the job increase.

The second set of audience is the people whose jobs will be lost by the closing of the copy center. They only need to know how will their jobs be affected, and what is the alternative employment opportunity that the company is planning for them and whether they will be absorbed in the Phillips Group.

3.   What do you suppose is the writer’s objective?

The writer’s objective is to provide a head start to the employees so that they are prepared for the change, by the time it actually happens.

4.   Does the writer fulfill his objective?

The writer fulfilled his objective partially. However, the way the email is structured and unnecessary details are mentioned, it ended up creating more confusion and chaos than sharing the information that the writer intended to share.

5. The document is not appropriately written for the audience particularly for those whose jobs will be lost as a result of this change.

6. Information should have been provided about the rehabilitation of the 23 employees currently employed in the copy center. However, if the company has no plans for their employement rehabilitation, then mention about those 23 employees should not be there in the email. Instead they must be separately contacted by the HR manager and with a formal announcement of their layoff, so that they start looking for jobs.

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