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Editing for Grammar and Punctuation Exercise. There are 20 errors. I need help w

ID: 2747936 • Letter: E

Question

Editing for Grammar and Punctuation Exercise. There are 20 errors. I need help with please. Cell Phones Endanger Drivers One of the recent developments in modern technology, cellular phones, can be a threat to safety. A study for Donald Redmond and Robert Lim of the university of Toronto showed that cellular phones poses a risk to drivers. In fact people who talk by the phone while driving are for times more likely to have an automobile accident than those whom do not use the phone while drive. I like to use my cell phone when I am driving because it is convenient. The researchers studied 699 drivers. Who were in an automobile accident while they were using they're cellular phones. The researchers concluded that the mane reason for the accidents was not that people used one hand for the telephone and one hand for driving. Instead the cause of accidents were usually that the drivers became distracted angry or upset by the phone call. As a result the drivers' lost concentration. Many people find that monthly plans are more economical than pre-paid plans.

Explanation / Answer

Cell Phones Endanger Drivers

Dangerous Drivers on Cell Phones (suggested title)
(No underline in titles; no full sentence as “endanger” is a verb) Errors 1, 2

(Indent missing 3) One of the recent developments in (of-preposition 4) modern technology, cellular phones, can be a threat to safety. A study for Donald Redmond and Robert Lim of the (capital “U” 5) University of Toronto showed (study is in the past; completed could be present tense) that cellular phones pose (subject-verb “phones pose” 6) a risk to drivers. In fact, (comma missing after “In fact” or “in addition” and so on 7) people who talk on (“by” to “on” 8) the phone while driving are four (spelling mistake on “four” 9) times more likely to have an automobile accident than those who (“Who” not “whom” 10) do not use the phone while driving (“drive” changed to “driving” 11). I like to use my cell phone when I am driving because it is convenient. (Off topic sentence; should be omitted 12) The researchers studied 699 drivers who were in an automobile accident while they were using their (“they’re” changed to possessive “their” 13) cellular phones. (sentence fragment should be joined to previous sentence. 14) The researchers concluded that the main (“mane” should be spelled “main” 15) reason for the accidents was not that people used one hand for the telephone and one hand for driving. Instead, (introductory word “Instead” takes a comma 16) the cause of accidents were usually that the drivers became distracted, (comma for a list after “distracted” 17) angry or upset by the phone call. As a result, (comma again after “as a result” 18) the drivers (no apostrophe as no possessive 19) lost concentration. Many people find that monthly plans are more economical than pre-paid plans.(not a concluding sentence 20).

The correct paragraph is given below:-

Dangerous Drivers on Cell Phones

One of the recent developments in modern technology, cellular phones, can be a threat to safety. A study for Donald Redmond and Robert Lim of the University of Toronto showed that cellular phones pose a risk to drivers. In fact, people who talk on the phone while driving are four times more likely to have an automobile accident than those who do not use the phone while driving . The researchers studied 699 drivers who were in an automobile accident while they were using their cellular phones. The researchers concluded that the main reason for the accidents was not that people used one hand for the telephone and one hand for driving. Instead, the cause of accidents were usually that the drivers became distracted, angry or upset by the phone call. As a result, the drivers lost concentration. Many people find that monthly plans are more economical than pre-paid plans.

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