This is a poorly written e-mail. Rewrite the e-mail - use bullet points, make it

Question

This is a poorly written e-mail. Rewrite the e-mail - use bullet points, make it concise and clear, one page long.. Do not use the wording of the sample- doing so would be plagiarism. Keep the key information, using your words.

Mitchell,

This is in response to your request that I attend the Workplace Issues and tell you about it. As you know, I attended the Workplace Issues conference on November 3, as you suggested. The topic was how to prevent workplace violence, and I found it very fascinating. Although we have been fortunate to avoid serious incidents at our company, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Because I was the representative from our company and you asked for a report, here it is. Kit Adkins was the presenter, and she made suggestions in three categories, which I will summarize here.

Ms. Atkins cautioned organizations to prescreen job applicants. As a matter of fact, wise companies do not offer employment until after a candidate’s background has been checked. Just the mention of a background check is enough to make some candidates withdraw. These candidates, of course, are the ones with something to hide.

A second suggestion was that companies should prepare a good employee handbook that outlines what employees should do when they suspect potential workplace violence. This handbook should include a way for informers to be anonymous.

A third recommendation had to do with recognizing red-flag behavior. This involves having companies train managers to recognize signs of potential workplace violence. What are some of the red flags? One sign is an increasing number of arguments (most of them petty) with coworkers. Another sign is extreme changes in behavior or statements indicating depression over family or financial problems. Another sign is bullying or harassing behavior. Bringing a firearm to work or displaying an extreme fascination with firearms is another sign.

I think that the best recommendation is prescreening job candidates. This is because it is most feasible. If you want me to do more research on prescreening techniques, do not hesitate to let me know. Let me know by November 18 if you want me to make a report at our management meeting, which is scheduled for December 3.

Ellie

Explanation / Answer

Mitchell,

This mail is in response to your request that the Workplace issue be attended and be discussed with you. Upon your suggestion, I had attended the Workplace issues Conference on November 3. It is said that Better be safe than sorry. Accordingly, although we have been successful enough to avoid serious incidents at our Company, but as representative from our Company to the Conference, the topic that dealt with, in the Conference, that indeed fascinated me was that of the ways to prevent workplace violence and here are certain highlights of the Conference that I would like to share with you in my Report so asked for:

Accordingly, out the above three suggestions, I believe prescreening the job candidates is the most preferable suggestion because of its degree of feasibility. Therefore, based upon this significant suggestion, should there be a need to conduct any research upon the aspect of prescreening of the candidates, please feel free to approach me regarding the same. Kindly also let me know by November 18 if you require the preparation of the Report at our Management meeting that is scheduled for December 3.

Ellie

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