I’m writing you because of my disappointment with my new multimedia PC display.
ID: 369068 • Letter: I
Question
I’m writing you because of my disappointment with my new multimedia PC display. The display part works all right, but the audio volume is also set too high and the volume know doesn’t turn it down. It’s driving us crazy. The volume knob doesn’t seem to be connected to anything but simply spins around. I can’t believe you would put out a product like this without testing it first. I depend on my computer to run my small business and want to know what you are going to do about it. This reminds me of every time I buy electronic equipment from what seems like any company. Something is always wrong. I though quality was supposed to be important, but I guess not. Anyway, I need this fixed right away. Please tell me what you want me to do. Please rewrite correctly and explain why the document is ineffective
Explanation / Answer
The weakness of this document is that it is written in a very informal tone and the message is not organized properly to put light on the complete picture (problem) here. Also, the writer of this document has included irrelevant sentences/details and tried to degrade the company through his message which is not needed.
Rewritten Document:
I have recently purchase your multimedia PC display. I am extremely disappointed to let you know that its volume function is not working properly. The display is working fine, but the volume knob doesn’t work and the preset volume levels are too high for my comfort. I own a small business which is dependent on my computer. I cannot afford to lose business due to this glitch hence I expect a prompt action from your side.
Please let me know what can be done in terms of the return/replacement or repair of my unit.
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