Directions: Read and analyze the memo draft below, identifying writing problems.

Question

Directions: Read and analyze the memo draft below, identifying writing problems. Answer the questions below. When answering Questions 1 - 3, you may create fictional information as necessary.

Memo Draft

DATE: March 24, 2016

TO: Jean Miller, President

(1) An increase in workers’ compensation (WC) insurance premiums has been observed in our company over the past 12 months. (2) In addition, a higher number of sick days have been taken this year. (3) On March 1 you asked me to research some options to reduce WC claims and improve the health of our employees.

(4) As a result, I am recommending that we introduce an employee fitness program in several stages. (5) With a fitness program, we can ensure the health and safety of every employee. (6) I am ready to offer my full and complete support with implimenting this program. (7) Please don’t hesitate to contact me if I can help you with anything else.

(8) According to researchers, workplace health and fitness are important for many reasons. (9) For example, if employees will exercise regularly, they will improve their fitness level and reduce the probability of accidents. (10) Therefore, our company can save money by preventing employee injuries and sick days.

(11) I have added many details in Appendix A. (12) It is a practical resource with options for creating effective fitness programs. (13) It can also be used to design a timeline for each stage of the program.

A. Writing Tasks (5 points each)

1. The memo draft above is missing a subject line. Write an effective subject line that is appropriate for the situation described in the Scenario above.

2. Evaluate the first sentence of the memo draft. If this is effective, write “Correct.” If not, create an appropriate first sentence for your memo.

3. The memo draft is missing a goodwill close. Write an effective goodwill close that is appropriate for the situation described in the Scenario above. B. Multiple Choice Questions (3 points each)

4. How many misspelled words do you find in the memo draft?

a. 0

b. 1

c. 2

d 3

5. How many examples of passive voice do you find in the memo draft?

a. 0

b. 1

c. 2

d. 3

6. How many state-of-being verbs do you find in the memo draft?

a. 1

b. 2

c. 3

d. 4

7. Which sentence contains an expletive?

a. Sentence 6

b. Sentence 12

c. Sentence 13

d. (none of the above)

8. Which sentence contains a cliché?

a. Sentence 3

b. Sentence 7

c. Sentence 11

d. (none of the above)

Explanation / Answer

1) Subject: Recommendations on reducing WC claims and improve the health of our employees

2) First sentence : As we already know that an increase in workers’ compensation (WC) insurance premiums has been observed in our company over the past 12 months.

3) Goodwill clause :

Therefore, I request you to please go through the above points and let me know if any of these require any additional explanation. I am willing to extending my full support to implement the program if accepted. I am looking forward for your decision to reduce WC claims and improve the health of our employees. I am sure that the decision will be beneficial for our workers and the company as well.

Regards,

XYZ

4) misspelled words- 1( implimenting)

5) c - 2 (Sentence 1 and 2)

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