Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and

ID: 355368 • Letter: R

Question

Revise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the "you" view.

-Unfortunately, you will not be able to use our computer and telephone systems on Thursday afternoon because of upgrades to both systems.

Revise the following to make the tone conversational yet professional.

- Per your recent e-mail, the undersigned takes pride in informing you that we are pleased to be able to participate in the Toys for Tots drive.

Revise the following statements to make them more positive.

-Plans for the new health center cannot move forward without full community support.

Revise the following sentence to reduce gender, racial, ethnic, age and disability bias.

-The conference will offer special excursions for the wives of executives.

Revise the following sentences to use plain language and familiar words.

-The salary we are offering is commensurate with remuneration for other managers.

Unfortunately, you will not be able to use your computer and telephone systems on Thursday afternoon because of planned upgrades to both systems.

As conveyed by your recent e-mail, We are proud to inform you that we are pleased to be able to participate in the Toys for Tots drive.

Without full community support, plans for the new health care center seems diffcult.

The conference will offer special excursions for the partners of the executives.

The salary we are offering is equivalent with remuneration for other managers.

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