Discuss one of the business letter in the link provided. What does the writer do

Question

Discuss one of the business letter in the link provided. What does the writer do wrong? How is this an example of bad business letter practices? What would you do differently if you were in the author of the letter's position?

Dear Ms.Liebman, Below, please find my résumé (and attached, a clip) in response to your advertisement for an Editorial Intern. It's definitely time for a career change! I'll cut to the chase. What I'm capable of: Chicago/AP style, typing 60-65 wpm, proofing, trafficking (publishing, not narcotics.. would I be trolling the Web for a job if that were the case??), Quark XPress, Adobe, Mac OSX and MS Office, usage of FTP protocols, sending and receiving Web content, Outlook, and working on intense deadlines. (Only "average" Excel.) What I'm incapable of: HTML I'm sick of writing these "pedestrian" cover letters; you're sick of reading them. I won't gush with some sanctimonious speech about your company; I apply to companies only for whom I'm interested in working. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Explanation / Answer

The mistake done by the writer is when responding for a job position, be precise. As the recruiter may be receiving so many responses for the advertisement. So the response should contain only relevant information. Here the writer is mentioning some irrelevant information like it's time for career change, not interested to write a cover letter etc. Moreover the writer is mentioning his incapability on HTML. It's a bad practice and the recruiter will immediately reject the profile.

Hi Ms.Liebman,

It sounds like you’re looking for an Editorial Intern. As someone with good experience, I wish to apply for this position. My skills include typing 60-6wpm, proofing, excellent knowledge on Adobe, Mac OSX and MS Office, FTP protocols, sending and receiving Web content, Outlook, Chicago/AP style, Quark XPress. I have attached my resume along with this mail.

I’d love to schedule a time for us to discuss how my skills and experience could benefit the team.

You can reach me directly at my e-mail address and/or phone number. Looking forward to connecting!

Best,

Name

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